How to Choose a Photographer for Your LGBTQ+ Wedding
Planning a wedding is hard. If you are an LGBTQ+ couple, planning your nuptials can come with an extra set of challenges. As a photographer, and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, we are intimately familiar with these challenges. Will my family be accepting? Will my partner’s family be accepting? Will they want to participate in the ceremony? Will we be able to find vendors that share our vision for the wedding?
It should go without saying that every vendor you choose for your big day should wholeheartedly support the union between you and your partner. Ideally, your vendors should have previous experience working with LGBTQ+ couples. Perhaps, with no other wedding vendor is this more important than for your photographer. Why? Besides your planner, your wedding photographer is the only vendor who will interact with you before, during, and after your big day. Before your wedding day, they will help you develop a photography timeline to ensure you get the best photos. They may also photograph you and your partner for engagement portraits. On your wedding day, your wedding photographer is there to document every special moment from your partner’s smile after you say your vows to the look on your best friend’s face during your first dance. After the wedding, they will deliver high quality photographs and albums to keep your memories alive. If you love your photographer, you may also want to hire them for future family portrait sessions. Choosing an experienced, proficient, and inclusive photographer for your wedding is one of the most important choices you will make as an LGBTQ+ couple.
Ideally, your photographer should make you, your partner, and your whole wedding party feel comfortable so you can shine. Your photographer will direct you and your partner for portraits, positioning you, and prompting you to capture your best, most genuine expression. A photographer who has only worked with heterosexual couples may not know how to properly pose you and your partner. Or worse, they may direct you and your partner in ways that are uncomfortable or demeaning.
As proud LGBTQ+ photographers, we have made it a practice to be as inclusive as possible. It’s a continual learning process. Here are some of the ways that we have chosen to run our business to fully live those values:
We’ve removed gendered language from correspondences including the pre-wedding questionnaire that each couple completes before their big day. It’s very common in the wedding industry to refer to your couples as “bride and groom.” These labels do not reflect the vast spectrum of identities of our clients. I’ve also replaced “bride and groom” on our website too as these words can alienate couples who do not see themselves reflected in those terms.
We ask our couples what their pronouns are. This may seem obvious, but many wedding vendors still do not do this. It is important for us to respect our client’s gender identities and to refer to them by the name they are most comfortable with. This is especially important as wedding photographers because our relationship with the couple is paramount; maintaining a safe and comfortable space for our clients ensures we are able to make the best photographs possible.
We treat chosen family as family. As LGBTQ+ people, we understand the importance of chosen family. Often these trusted individuals are our closest allies. We make it a practice to ask our clients who in their wedding do they consider family. Taking the time to understand these relationships ensures that we maintain a comfortable atmosphere for all couples and their guests. A wedding professional with limited experience working with LGBT couples may not understand the complicated relationships that LGBTQ+ folks may have with their loved ones.
We understand and take into account special sensitivities for our clients. Some couples are naturally more camera-shy or less comfortable with openly displaying affection on camera. For LGBTQ+ couples, there are further considerations. For example, some of these couples may come from locations in which they were not comfortable fully expressing their identity. This can also sometimes be the case for older LGBTQ+ couples who came of age in a time when their identities were more marginalized. For a couple to authentically shine on their wedding day, they must feel comfortable. We never pressure our clients to do anything they are not fully and enthusiastically comfortable with.
We respect the privacy of our clients. Despite the monumental progress we’ve seen for acceptance and inclusivity for LGBTQ+ couples, there are still some individuals who do not feel safe being publicly out. While it is a common practice in the wedding industry for photographers to post their images on social media and their website, we make it a point to prioritize our client’s privacy when requested.
As a local gay-owned Palm Springs wedding photography duo with over 15 years of experience, we are uniquely established to provide a distinctive experience for LGBTQ+ couples. From posing for portraits to the unspoken familiarity we share as a community, we provide an inclusive experience and quality of service that is unmatched in our industry.
If you are an LGBTQ+ identified couple and planning a wedding, it can feel like there are few resources out there for you, and even fewer wedding professionals who truly understand you. If you need advice on your wedding, please do not hesitate to reach out here.
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us. In the meantime, click here to see more wedding resources.
Palm Springs and Boston wedding photographer Todd Danforth Photography is an LGBTQ+ and POC-owned wedding photography team specializing in capturing joyful and candid moments. As storytellers and craftspeople, we believe in the power of visual narratives. Our mission is to create honest and authentic photographs you can share with your loved ones for generations to come.